Today I was supposed to meet my dissertation guide, but I skipped because I haven't done anything even remotely close to research in the past few weeks. I wonder why though. Its not that I do not want to nor that I find the task too difficult. Rather its the opposite. I find the task to be too easy. Am i overconfident? Perhaps. Would I have done it if it were a little more challenging? Perhaps not. So, where does the problem lie exactly?


I know that I procrastinate. I have known it for quite a long time now. Sometimes I even feel pride in myself for possessing such a common but uncommonly-sophisticated-sounding word in my arsenal of a very limited vocabulary of English language. I even shamelessly throw the word at people's faces as if it were an excuse for my laziness. And that's not even the worse part. The worse part is that I cannot even remember how it all started. Maybe I always was a procrastinator...

Now I'm beginning to wonder about the person who coined this word. That guy must have been a f**king lazy-ass. He didn't want to do shit but wanted people to call him by a cool title.

Sounds pretty cool doesn't it? Definitely way cooler than it should.

Anyway, back to topic. So, am I really a good-for-nothing-wasteful-extra-mass-on-earth-with-no-real-purpose? Do everyone even have a purpose for their existence?? Or is everything just random shit caused by a great big accident and we're just tiny-microscopic-specks in the entire cosmic reality for whom the universe gives no fucks???

Now, this discussion has raised a few philosophical questions. Is there even any meaning to our existence? If so, then what is it? and if there is no meaning then why do we exist? Whether it is absolutely necessary for every existence to have some meaning? Whether we are capable of even comprehending the meaning of existence?

Perhaps it is best not to dwell deeper into these philosophical mysteries right now. But, from what I understand, the universe is governed by the cause and effect principle otherwise known as the causality principle. Every thing, every phenomenon and every action has a cause and a corresponding effect. An action must have a cause, and the action itself is the effect of that cause. Also, the action has an effect of its own for which that very action becomes the cause. So on and so forth. This chain reaction of cause and effect is what brought us from the singularity before the big bang to the vast cosmos we exist in at this moment. Everything that has happened or will happen is because of the endless chain of cause and effect.

So, If my existence and the existence of the entire universe has a cause, it must have a corresponding effect. No matter how tiny or insignificant the effect on the cosmos may be, but my existence has a meaning. And the power to choose that meaning lies with me. Since I am the one living my life, only I can choose the actions I do or the paths I take. I may not be the cause of my every action, but I and only I can decide their effects on me and my destiny.