We can all understand the sentiments behind these words. I mean, who likes to be judged? And if you start asking people then some might even say that judging others in not only bad but an outright moral wrong! But is it really?

I have a friend who would concur with that view. A few weeks ago, I was talking to that friend, who was very pissed at some of her relatives for always judging her based on her actions/behaviour. While I could relate to her sentiments, as i'm sure most of you can too, what  she said after that intrigued me more. She claimed that she never judged anyone in her life but she always gets judged by others. This statement made me wonder, is it really that bad to judge others?

First of all, her claim isn't exactly true. Because, lets face it folks, we judge people all the time! Whether intentionally or instinctively is another matter, but we do! and its a fact! To explain this better, let us first understand what 'Judging' actually means. Judging a person means forming an opinion about that person in our mind based on the information we have. The person who judges is the 'Judge' and that target is the 'Judged'. We instinctively form such opinions about every person we meet. This is a mechanism that's built-in. This is part of the survival instinct of a human. We judge a person as harmful or harmless so that we can avoid getting hurt.

We have already established that 'judging' involves forming an opinion based on available information. But we don't always have adequate information available when we judge a stranger (which is quite often). That's when we rely on our past experiences. That's why two different persons may form two different opinions about the same person. Because their past experiences are different and it influences how they perceive the world and everyone in it. Psychologically speaking, our brains alert us whenever we meet a person who reminds us of a bad experience or of any other person who had hurt us in the past. For instance, if a guy has hurt you in the past then you are most likely to stay away from another guy with similar looks or similar behaviour and mannerism in the future.

Now, judgement can be either objective or subjective. Objective judgement is based on hard facts and the data or information available without any emotional bias. On the other hand, subjective judgement is based on emotions and feelings. Subjective judgement is more likely to be tainted or biased.

Hence, judging people is not essentially wrong! It is just a psychological process, which is built in as a survival mechanism. Then, when does judging people become wrong? Its when we refuse to change the opinion we initially formed, even after new information is available. Such rigidity is usually due to emotional taint in the judgement. This gives rise to prejudice, which is a misjudgment in itself.

Judging others can't be helped. But judging them objectively, without prejudice and changing the opinion with every new information is the way to go.